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Contemptuous Communication and Divorce

According to an article in Psychology Today, ineffective verbal communication may be the number-one indicator that divorce is looming on the horizon. Even more specifically, over-generalizations, "you" language, disregard for feelings, severe criticism are all associated with an impending divorce. Do you find yourself using a lot of "you" language in arguments? Sentences that start with "you should," "you are," "you need," or "you have to" are, according to Psychology Today, statements that involve criticism and directives. Words lie this dent indicate contempt in a relationship and can indicate serious marriage problems.

Ineffective communication also includes universal statements and over-generalizations. When couples stop trying to effectively communicate and start making wild accusations, their relationship might be coming to an end. According to Psychology Today, statements that begin with "you always" or "you never" may indicated serious marital duress. Instead of making statements like "you always do that," or "you never get it right," try to be reasonable and rational when discussing something that makes you angry. Additionally, these statements are only useful for building up bitterness and contempt. Why? first, anyone who makes an accusation like this can't imagine the listener any other way. Secondly, the listener can refute universal statements with only one contradictory example.

If you and your spouse focus on tearing each other down instead of working on issues, your relationship may be headed towards divorce. Generally speaking, ineffective communicators are hard on the person during an argument, but go easy on the actual issue at hand. For instance, your spouse might shout something like "You're always so stupid," when the statement is not actually true. Instead of criticizing your partner, tack the real problem behind the harsh words. In this situation, it would be more prudent to say something like, "I'm not saying that you're stupid, but what you did earlier wasn't very smart." Couples who are chronically intolerant of each other like this may be headed towards divorce.

The words "I don't care" are another indicator that a marriage is suffering. However, this sentiment might manifest itself in variety of different ways. Once a husband and wife stop caring about each other's feelings, there is good chance that their relationship will end in divorce. Statements like "Who care if you're upset? You're being too sensitive!" or "You're making a big deal out of this when its not" indicate that the speak doesn't care about the listeners feelings. According to Psychology Today, this type of contemptuous communication can destroy a close, personal bond very quickly. However, contemptuous communication can always be improved – and so can relationships. To learn more about divorce, visit Our Austin family lawyers are dedicated to helping families and individuals resolve legal issues related to divorce and family law.

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